Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
