Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
What a dumb baby whore.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
