I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
