Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize