To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
