She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
