what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I love having hate sex.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
