I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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