Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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