sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize