i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I need to align my fucking chakras
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
