So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
