My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
