I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
