it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
