The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
