Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
