Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
