At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
