operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
