I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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