the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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