dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
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