he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
