you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
