butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
