TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
