dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
