You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just google imaged poop.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
