Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
