I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
