at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
