I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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