I accidentally burped into my bong.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
