I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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