We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
