I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
