I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The air was thick with penises
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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