He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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