Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
