the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize