The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
