just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
