the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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