How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize