with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
