i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
