I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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