Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize