hell yes lets make some ravioli
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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