i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
