The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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