i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
you're hired as official boob wrangler
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
