I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
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