Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
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