he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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