And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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