I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
