3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
