I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
