I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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