We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
