Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
