Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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