he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize