I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
