My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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