Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
