she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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