So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I did not marry a roomba.
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