he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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