my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
