I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
