Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize