Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
wow bdsm is so cute
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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