Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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