Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
