Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
