We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize