She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
