what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
