I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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